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Orgasmic meditation or OMing is a term coined by Nicole Daedone and Robert Kandell to signify a mindfulness practice in which the object of meditation is finger to genital contact. OMing is practiced in pairs, with one practitioner stroking the genitals of the other, and both focusing their attention on the sensation with the stated goal of developing connective resonance between them. Although the practitioners can be of either sex, the focus of orgasmic meditation seems to be on the female orgasm through subtle and deliberate stimulation of the clitoris. Both partners, however, are said to share in the sensation and fulfillment via a kind of “pleasure by proxy.
Proponents state that orgasmic meditation encompasses more than just orgasm and that it encourages greater emotional awareness, connected relationships, and sense of fulfillment. Others describe the sensation as “a heady buzz, mixed with equal parts wooziness and intensity of focus. In press accounts, orgasmic meditation has been compared to tantric practices.
The idea, similar to Buddhist Tantric sex, is to extend the sensory peak. Daedone has stated in interviews that OMing also borrows from other traditions including yoga, and other forms of meditation, and she describes it as a central element of what she terms the “Slow Sex Movement”. She states that OMing brings consciousness to sexuality in the same way that sitting meditation brings consciousness to stillness and yoga brings consciousness to movement.
Proponents maintain that the practice leads to more intense and profound orgasms, expands one’s capacity to feel pleasure and other sensations, and promotes greater personal awareness and interpersonal connectivity. Others describe more limited effects, such as simply “getting in touch with one’s body. Some who have participated in or witnessed the practice report feeling a sense of discomfort or inappropriateness.
I tried with great futility to make the connection between an austere Zen monastery filled with silent monks meditating on emptiness, and what I had just seen. The practice of orgasmic meditation is done with a partner. A woman lies down, unclothed from the waist down, while her fully clothed partner sits alongside.
The one sitting uses his or her index finger to slowly, deliberately stroke the clitoris of the other. Typically this safe sex practice involves the wearing of gloves.